The last email I sent to my list was at the end of June. It included this cute photo of my husband Chris and I as we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on June 22, 2020.

Here's the very next picture I have of us together from July 5, 2020.

Our Coronavirus Journey

We both got COVID-19 at the end of June and Chris ended up in the ICU for 8 days fighting Covid-Pneumonia. It was a really scary time. Him all alone in the hospital, and me all alone at home, both of us sicker than we've ever been. I was delirious with fever, head pounding so hard I couldn't even move my fingers, unstoppable coughing, panic when I couldn't catch my breath, and then the digestive system effects hit and my IBS came back with a vengeance.

It was 73 days before we were feeling better.

There were days where all I could do was sleep, and other days where I couldn't sleep at all. I watched almost the entire CSI series during those 2+ months. I'm practically a crime scene investigator now, except I can't remember anything. It felt like I got hit with a semi-truck and I couldn't get up off the road so I kept getting run over again and again by other cars. We tried everything to feel better: antibiotics, pain meds, fever reducers, natural remedies, elderberry syrup sent by a friend, vitamins, cough drops, essential oils, #allthethings. And let me tell you, the whole no taste and smell thing is bizarre. I drank Gatorade (any color cuz I couldn't taste it anyway) and ate white rice and ruffles chips. We moved into my in-law's RV parked next to their house after Chris got out of the hospital so his mom could bring us food and things we needed while we were under quarantine.

I was in the ER five times during the second half of 2020. Any time my O2 levels dropped, or I couldn't breathe I'd call my doctor and she'd tell me to go back in. It never turned into pneumonia for me, and I was never admitted like Chris was, but the receptionist at the ER knew me by name. The last time I went in she saw me and said, “Oh Shaina! Not again!”

We are just so grateful for the kindness and support we were shown during this time. Friends sent care packages, bought us groceries, picked up our mail and medication, took time out of their day to call to visit and check in on us. We were so well cared for by so many.

But even now we're dealing with the physical, mental, and emotional repercussions, 9 months later. Chris had a blood clot from Covid that gave him a heart attack in December and he was back in the hospital for another 5 days then. And he's been on leave from his job recovering from that and waiting to get cleared for his DOT physical. They're calling us “Long-Haulers” - people who are dealing with lasting effects from the virus. We're just taking it one day at a time. My lingering symptoms include fatigue and brain fog. And a lot of fear… fear that we'll never be fully recovered. That my brain won't ever work the same again.

And while recovering I discovered a lump in my right breast. I had to wait 14 days past my last active Covid symptom day until my doctor would see me in person to check it. I was sent to the hospital (again) for a mammogram and ultrasound. The doctor that day said his main concern at that point was cancer. I had to have two biopsies cuz the first one missed the lump, and then the doctor went on vacation before giving me the results. My stress and anxiety levels have never been so high. The biopsy came back as a “benign radial scar” - a lump of tissue that looks just like a tumor on imaging, and can hide cancer cells inside of it. So they wanted to do a lumpectomy to remove it. I had the surgery at the end of November (with a really rough recovery) just 10 days before Chris' heart attack.

Needless to say, my business and daily operations were impacted when we got sick, and it's been slow going ever since. I had to put everything into maintenance mode, let clients know I couldn't work on their projects, and ask for help to communicate with them. Erin (my friend that I share my office with) was a life-saver. She wrote emails for me and helped me any way she could. I did end up needing to refund and let one client go cuz they couldn't wait, but everyone else was so kind, understanding and patient.

Here are a couple of the fun websites I completed once I was back to work:

It’s Okay for Dreams to Change

If you've been around for any time you know that it's a big dream of mine to live in a tiny house on wheels. And so around 2 years ago as a bit of a “trial run” on minimalism and living tiny, Chris and I moved into a 40' 5th wheel with 324 sqft of living space. And we loved it! The experiment was a total success!

But then the pandemic hit, and no matter what size your house was, it was super easy to feel claustrophobic while isolating and remaining socially distant. Then after we got our positive test results for Covid, we figured it was probably in the public showers at the RV park where we picked it up. The shower in our trailer hadn't worked since we had to pull out the tub to do some water damage repair when we first moved in. The RV park showers were working great…until they weren't.

Once we were feeling better enough to move back into our own place we knew we couldn't use those showers anymore. And we were in no physical condition to repair our trailer ourselves. We had to call it and make a pivot. We had to let the tiny house go…

So we sold the trailer to our neighbor at the RV park (which was awesome cuz we didn't even have to move it!), and said goodbye to our little spot by the lake. We bought an older double-wide in a park and we're going to make the best out of it. It's even got a huge soaking tub. And we really needed a safe place to land.

But it's not what I always wanted. Not what we'd been working towards.

And so that's what I wanted to talk to you about today. Maybe even more than that, it's what I needed to say to myself. That's its okay for dreams to change. That it's okay to go through a different open door. That it's okay for priorities to shift and timelines to close up and savings to be spent differently than you'd imagined.

And so if you've experienced anything similar in the last year, I just want you to know you're not alone. Personally, or professionally.

To Rest and To Grow

If this season has taught me anything, it's that there is a balance to be had between resting and growing. Nothing in nature grows year round, but I always expected myself to, you know? I never slowed down enough to really rest until we were forced to. So I'm processing, and learning, and trying to revel in the rest.

But I'm also really eager to get back to work. I've missed connecting with all of you here and on Instagram too. I've missed pouring into businesses and partnering with other female entrepreneurs through my branding and website design projects.

So I guess all of this is to day this (TL;DR) :

Coronavirus is no joke and I'm so grateful my husband and I are survivors.
Dreams can change. I can still be happy even if I'm not living in a tiny house. Joy can be found in every day.
I'm open for business, and I'd love to support you if your own business has been forced to pivot this year and your online presence needs a refresh. I'm your girl.

Thanks for reading this, and for hanging on with me the past few months. It's been such a journey.

Be well, friend.

And seriously, if you've been thinking about a brand refresh or a new website lately, I'd love to chat about what you need and how I can help. I've got space open in April with your name on it.

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